Well then, I have discovered I do not love unconditionally. Not Pippi, my husband, my kids or friends. I love them, but I love them more if they make me happy. I realize there are readers who feel only we can "make" ourselves happy, and I agree. Except when Pippi has misbehaved and ripped up yet another piddle pad or nipped at me too hard, all those healthy beliefs fly out the window and I am mad and unhappy.
I feel as if I am standing at the podium in an AA meeting, fingers gripping the stained edges, my breath coming in short gasps, as I say this, and I do not say this lightly, I am shocked by this realization. I knew getting a dog would challenge me, but making me look at my core beliefs....well, that is an extra benefit, I guess.
I just re-read the first paragraph and got some clarity on my thinking. I am unhappy with her behavior, not necessarily her. I will ponder this a bit. Have any of you felt this way?
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| A tired Pippi after doing some prep work for Puppy Kindergarden. |
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