A conversation with the wicked Trollette that sometimes sits on my right shoulder.
Me: Where did yesterday go?
Trolette: You didn't blog?
M: No, I got too busy.
T: Doing what?
M: What difference does it make? Excuses aren't going to change anything. My commitment is blown. I didn't blog every day for the month of November. NaBloPoMo
T: So what are you going to do, shoot yourself?
M: No, that's a bit extreme, isn't it?
T: You could shoot yourself in the foot, and that would give you a good effect, don't you think?
M: Go away.
T: No way, this is good. I like it when you feel guilty and insecure. Keeps you in line. You listen to me when I talk. When you feel good and are confident you shut me out. No matter how loud I yell, you don't hear me. Hurts my feelings.
M: Yeah, good.
T: That's mean. I'm here for you. I only want what's best for you. Don't you get that? I don't want you to make mistakes where you will get hurt. I don't want you trusting people that might hurt you. I don't want you to do things that are stupid. I can see things you can't. You deserve an better life and if you only would listen to me....
M: Shut up. Really!
T: Can't you stand the truth?
M: You aren't the truth. You are a mean spirited ugly Trollette, and you're jealous because I have a good life, and you only want me to do what will keep me stuck in some preconceived world of yours. OK, I broke my word, that feels crummy, but it doesn't mean I have to throw the whole thing away. I'm blogging today, you stupid little shit.
T: Whoa.
M: There is a thing called commitment, something you don't know much about. I'm committed to doing this thing, but that doesn't mean that sometimes other stuff gets in the way. The deal is to start again. I could write in three days, or never again, instead I'm writing after only one day off. Going through this bit of angst is making me stronger. Sorry Trollette, I'm outta here, but thanks for the chat.
T: You'll blow it again, just wait. It's a long month, and when you do I'll be here ready to help.
M: Yeah, that's what worries me, but I am getting better at tuning you out. I wonder if you will ever go away.
T: Not likely!
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1 comment:
Hey, I missed a day before I even knew about it, and I was too late to get on board, so I'm just trying to visit as many of the NaBloPoMo blogs as I can and I thought I'd say hi, I liked your blog.. :) In fact so much so I'm bookmarking it. I'll be back!
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