Freedom

Today I went without my wig. I have worn a wig since my hair fell out in January. Actually, I worn one before that, but only because I have/had (I'm hoping mine will grow in thicker with lovely curls) thin fine hair. I also think I look better in a wig which makes me feel more confident etc.

If I'm not wearing a wig, I wear a scarf with a fetching straw hat. I'm probably not fooling anyone except myself, but when I was really bald, I scared even myself. Now that my new growth is about 1/2 inch I'm not so frightening.

I felt so liberated. Feeling the air blow through my virgin hair just made me happy. No one stared or looked at me funny, and if they did, so what? I can't make everyone feel about me the way I want them to feel. I have no control over that - which is a fairly new insight, I might add, and many people in my life are grateful I've finally had this realization.

I never knew how sensual a head is until I had no hair and felt everything through my scalp. During the winter I wore a crochet hat to bed because my head got cold. How these bald men go around without a hat in winter astounds me. At one point I was thinking of making a modern version of the Night Cap, then I discovered bandanas, and wearing them to bed was a whole lot easier than starting another company.