A Helpful Test

If you haven't figured out by now - I like helpful tips on how to live a more successful life. Remember the post on Shackles On, Shackles Off? Martha Beck's helpful tool of questioning a decision by checking inside myself. Well, here is another idea about checking in with your self.


The Before-During-After Test
by Joy Tanksley

For sev­eral years, I was a run­ner. I ran sev­eral times each week, par­tic­i­pated in many 5Ks, and even com­pleted a 10-miler. I have a hand­ful of truly fond mem­o­ries from my run­ning days, but mostly, it was a struggle.

Before it was time to com­plete a run, I would feel a sense of dread. I would often pro­cras­ti­nate, and  I had to use all sorts of tricks and bribes to get myself out the door.

During the runs, my body usu­ally hurt. Sometimes it was my knees. Sometimes my hips. Sometimes my chest would ache. There were brief, shin­ing moments when every­thing would feel good, and the weather was per­fect, and the music was right, and I would actu­ally enjoy a run, but usu­ally, I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

After my runs, I some­times felt an emo­tional high. I felt proud of myself for fol­low­ing through and relieved that it was over. Other times, I would feel dis­ap­pointed because my time was so slow, or I hadn’t cov­ered enough dis­tance. Sometimes my body felt good at the end of a run — ener­gized and alive. But most often, my body would ache. And I would be left with pain in my mus­cles and joints for sev­eral days after.

For the most part, I was engag­ing in an activ­ity that was mis­er­ablebefore, mis­er­able dur­ing, and mis­er­able after. (I real­ize this isn’t true for all run­ners. I know many peo­ple who gen­uinely love to run!)

I now have a lit­tle test — a self-coaching tool — that helps me steer toward activ­i­ties that are aligned with my unique pref­er­ences. I call it the Before-During-After Test. I ask myself: 1) Will I look for­ward to this activ­ity before­hand? 2) Will I enjoy it dur­ing? 3) Will I feel good after?

If an activ­ity gets a “yes” to all three ques­tions, it’s a total go. If it gets a “no” to all three, it’s a total no. If the answers are mixed, I dig a lit­tle deeper, weigh out the pros and cons, and look for a com­pro­mise. It’s really quite pow­er­ful. Here are a few examples:

Decision: Should I become a Nia teacher?

1. Will I enjoy the train­ing? Will I enjoy prepar­ing for my classes? Will I look for­ward to each class? YES.
2. Will I enjoy the act of teach­ing? YES.
3. Will I feel good after each class? YES.

• Final Call? I became a Nia teacher.

Decision: Should I cook a home­made din­ner tonight?

1. Will I enjoy plan­ning and prepar­ing the meal? Probably not. I’ve had a long day and don’t feel the cook­ing vibe.
2. Will I enjoy eat­ing the meal? YES.
3. Will I feel good after? YES.

• Final Call? I’ll cook, but I’ll choose some­thing really easy and play super fun music in the kitchen.

I invite you to play around with this sim­ple tool and see what you learn about your­self. I should note that if you find you are answer­ing “no” to pretty much every­thing, there’s a good chance you’re deal­ing with a lot of lim­it­ing, neg­a­tive belief sys­tems. When I think back to my run­ning days, I can see that I ini­tially held a lot of lim­it­ing beliefs about run­ning that impeded my enjoy­ment. I thought I had to keep doing more — increas­ing mileage, going faster. And I com­pared myself to other run­ners all the time. However, even after I dis­solved those beliefs, and started run­ning on my own terms, I dis­cov­ered it wasn’t some­thing that delighted my authen­tic self.

If you use the Before-During-After Test with­out ever dis­solv­ing (or even notic­ing) your lim­it­ing beliefs, it won’t do you much good. You’ll find your­self hop­ping from one thing to the next, look­ing for sat­is­fac­tion but never find­ing it.

If you can use the test from a truly authen­tic place — with­out the men­tal clut­ter of lim­it­ing beliefs — you will bring deeper aware­ness to all your choices, both big and small. Just notice. As you become more aware, you’ll find abun­dant ways to honor your authen­tic pref­er­ences at every stage of the process — before, dur­ing, and after.