OMG! What Time Is It?

As I am doing this self development program with Christine Kane, realizations are starting to purcolate to the surface where I can look at them. One of them is I spend a lot of time thinking about not having enough time to do the stuff I want to do.

For instance, I have discovered I have an underground mantra running that sounds like...I don't have time to exercise because; I have to write my journal, meditate, do my Wii exercises, respond to important email, write my blogs, write my memoirs and reconcile my bank account.  NO JOKE.

The scary thing is, I don't have the time. BUT, what I have learned is - I don't make the time.

If I want to fuss around on Facebook, I have tons of time. If I want to go shopping, time goes away as does all the 'important' things on my list.

The deal is, I don't make the time to do things that are not tops on my priority list. Sometimes journaling is #1, and that is often when I am in some kind of angst and need a non-partisan forum to work out my 'issues'. FYI, writing out your true feelings, then burning them is a great way to begin to get clarity.

I find cleaning out the garbage disposal preferable to exercising (although the Wii is sorta fun and painless), and will apply serious avoidance techniques to prevent me from even walking around the block, for my own health, for christ sakes! I make myself nuts with this thinking.

The deal is, I'm retired, I have all the time in the world, or could, if I would just let myself BE. I am so busy DO-ING I have no time for BE-ING.

Kane suggests a solution to my problem is to apply Intentional Boredom. Now, boredom, as you might guess, is another thing I run away from like a Fire Ant hill. Hate it. She says, and I do get this, that "deep progress happens during silence and stillness." She tells of what her coach requested her to do; "During my Intentional Boredom time, I wasn’t allowed to meditate, or pray, or write, or read, or flip through magazines. That’s because I was always trying to do things “right.” Even meditation
can be an “activity.”

"Boredom, however, is a game. I had to lie like broccoli on the couch for 15 minutes every day for
a whole week – being bored. It was incredibly challenging! And kind of funny, too. I still use this
practice."

I can believe it is challenging. My husband goes to the coffee shop and sits there looking at the people...pull my nails out! I never go anywhere without a book or magazine. Well, that is not so true anymore. Now have my cell phone that is a wonderful diversion and time waster.

Again, writing has been therapeutic. I see more clearly how my choices impact my life. I can continue to be an exercise slug or have a better quality of life. No one is going to come on a white horse and rescue my from myself. I have to be a big girl...it's about time, don't you think? I do. Thanks for this chat