AARP Hits and Homer With This

Interesting article over at AARP. (For you young-uns that is American Association of Retired Persons, a remarkably powerful lobbying organization and harbinger of old age).

Daniel Goleman, the same guy who gave us credit for having Emotional Intelligence, has a new book; Social Intelligence, that will raise our communication skills if we understand that the person we are talking to can pick up what we are feeling without either of us being aware of what is happening.

Reviewer Mark Matousek likens our brains to be "interlooped, Wi-Fi octopi with invisible tentacles slithering in all directions, at every moment, constantly picking up messages we’re not aware of and prompting reactions—including illnesses—in ways never before understood". (I love that! What a visual - if only I could draw.)

Goleman says, “One person’s inner state affects and drives the other person. We’re forming brain-to-brain bridges—a two-way traffic system—all the time. We actually catch each other’s emotions like a cold.” The more significant the relationship the more you will be effected.

This doesn't seem like any new news, but what is different is that there is now science behind the ideas, and the implications stemming from this new understanding are pretty neat. Imagine it's common knowledge we influence how another person feels, would we intentionally want to be a downer? I know, there are baddies out there who relish the idea of spreading black clouds around, but most of us don't. Our brains are kind and compassionate by nature Gloeman says. Would we have wars? Would we live longer? When we feel good the body emits oxytocin (the same chemical released during lovemaking), which helps the immune system do its best work of protecting us.

One big problem is our increasingly isolated techno-world. Sitting here blogging all day doesn't lead to much social interaction which increases our social intelligence. We need to push away from our computer and go relate, to find someone to listen to and have them listen to us - I mean really listen, not just nod and think about how to respond, but to get so deeply into listening that when they stop talking you don't have a thing to say because you haven't been thinking about anything but what they are saying. How often has that happened to you?

A final big plus from his research revealed our brains continue to grow as we age. “Stem cells manufacture 10,000 brain cells every day till you die,” says Goleman. “Social interaction helps neurogenesis. The brain rises to the occasion the more you challenge it." Well, yahoo!