Avoidence Technique #1

I know I'm in big trouble when I start looking for another day planner in hopes of finding the 'perfect one', and it is not even the end of the year. It's a technique I've used in the past so I'm alerted to the fact that I'm avoiding something - but I'm not to sure what it is this time.

I am embarrassed to say I have every binder size of Franklin Planners except the big one. I have tried the Harvard Planner, Day Timer, and Filofax. They all work for a while, but then my life changes and they aren't perfect for me any more. I now have a lot of white space in my current favorite, Planner Pad and it takes up a lot of room in my purse. I want a smaller planner - I have a smaller life.

I want to be less busy and devote more time to making creams for people who need them and writing (this blog for instance). But you see, I'm avoiding doing this because, well, I don't know, I have difficulty selling things and if I continue to make creams I will have to sell them or else I won't be able to afford to continue to make them. And I'm also concerned no one will read what I write.

Martha Beck has written Finding Your Own North Star about the conflict between what she describes as your social self and your essential self. The goal of life she suggests is to get closer to your essential self, your buried soul sister or brother much maligned by your social self, the self we are most familiar with. The essential self is always there and will reveal its self if we get to far off our destined course by making us feel crummy or forgetful just to name a couple.

That is a long explanation illustrating the fact that selling my products is not in keeping with my essential self, but making them is. So what ? you say. Well, you have a point. We've all had, at some time or another, to do things we don't necessarily want to do and lived through it.

As you can read I'm not much clearer to understanding my problem than I was at the beginning of this post. But at least I've been writing (which makes me feel good, so is part of my essential self) and not surfing for planner perfection - which I know in my hearts of hearts I will never find.