Why do I care so much about how I look?  It has been a problem of mine for years. Yes, I know all about how the magazine's seduce us with the sexy illusions of women and that triggers our self esteem to tank out, but I think it is deeper than that.

I don't know what it is though. I am 63 years old and am looking at yet another skin care product to buy! I have spent thousands on skin care. I even used to make my own brand, and even that wasn't enough to get my product fix.

I have many friends who don't give a rats butt about products and they look great.  What is it about this select group of us that cares soooooo much. There is a site called Makeup Alley, and they do reviews of makeup and products, and there are a LOT of women, mostly young, who are addicted like me with skin care.

Yes, I do think it is an addiction. What is an addiction? Something that takes over your life. Something you have to have right NOW. Something that will fix something missing in you. That is not a clinical definition, but mine from hard fought battle.

Will people like me more if I have a smooth skin? I really doubt it, I am pretty likable with the wrinkles, brown spots and pock marks I have earned in the trenches over the years. So what makes me so compulsive about looking different than I am? Fear of aging? Maybe. Not fear exactly, just discomfort. I was never a beauty even in my robust youth and I am seeing that as I grow older the thin margin I had over some others is disappearing, and maybe that is what the marketing folks are counting on. The inevitable march and the screaming realization that if something isn't done to address the slippage, one day my chin will be where my breasts used to be and those breasts will be hanging out somewhere around my waist! God, what an incredibly grim vision and thought.

Today two things occurred in a very short amount of time. I walked behind a very elderly man with paper thin skin, rose red blotches on his legs and a stumbling shuffle, and thought about how he was once a young verile, strong good-looking guy. The other, I went to see Sex in the City 2. Talk about contrast! Now those girls have had some work done, but they look great.

People say I look like Miranda. If you are myopic and in a dark room maybe, but it is flattering none the less. So, if on the slim chance I DO have some resemblance to her, what can I do to look more like her? Buy some cream/cleanser/toner/firmer/antiager to stall the inevitable. And that is what has lead me to ramble about product addiction.

I am no closer to figuring my problem out, well, maybe a little, but I feel better. If you have any ideas, have at it, or share your own stories. Remember, we are a select group, and the cosmetic companies want to know about us, and unfortunately or fortunately target to sell their products.