Shopping Therapy

I just returned from a robust therapy session with my two favorite therapists...TJ and Office Max. As you can see (although it's not a great photo) Pepper is giving me "the look", as my friends have coined this particular pulling back of the ears and raising of the furry brows. I'm not sure why he's doing "the look" about my purchases, other than he's not to keen on getting his picture taken these days.

I feel better and am happy to have supported the sliding down the shit shoot economy, but my nagging uneasiness lingers. You see, my aunt passed away on Saturday, but it's not so much her death, which was a blessing that bothers me, it's that she doesn't want a funeral or even a memorial service, and I'm having a hard time with that.

When my father died I was in high gear organizing things - I was busy with lots to do, now I'm just here, a thousand miles away with an empty feeling growing larger every day. Even though she was my only aunt, we weren't that close, none the less, I'm not ready to let her go. I feel a need to go back to her house in California to help pack it up, and then to Mackinaw Island where she will be buried to get some kind of closure for myself. Since I won't be remembering her with anyone, I guess this will have to do, but it still feels unfinished.

I'll tell you this - I now have strong feelings about the need for an after death gathering for the ones who are left behind, be it formal or casual. I want a send off party where laughter flows as much as the wine and tall tales are told, but no one cares because they are having such a good time - and I don't think it could get much better than that.